You're still talking and still walking Brother - consider that a win in itself over this goddamn illness. Depression doesn't discriminate, no matter what you have or don't have or where you are on the ladder of life, it has the insidious ability to climb into anyone's head and frankly if left unchecked, it can do untold damage. To quote oldnick and he is absolutely correct - it is Shit, if science/medicine could come up with a successful way to undertake brain transplants then I would be at the start of the queue saying; "take this bast@rd it's damaged/defective and and give me another one!"
It's something that needs talked about more I knew I had a big problem long before anyone else did.becouse I tried to hide it from everyone.i lost interest in everything nothing mattered,lost my job becouse I was depressed (but they never knew that) I was just unreliable and usually p@ssed or hung over.didnt get another job wernt interested. Just went on a massive downer.didnt pay mortgage didnt care.reposessed.then the girlfriend went. Meds that I'm sure helped.but I also had hypnotherapy and something changed. Soon after all this gloom met wife in 1997 Still together 23years (married 20) had 2 kids Also.for me fortunately there was light at the end of that dark tunnel.im now happily married,with a 21 old daughter 17 year old son.a home owner again.and run my buisness.i didnt think for a minute I'd be where I am now 25 years ago. Can only comment on my experience its horrendous,maybe mine wasnt as bad as others.but 2 years of life put into a box and shoved to a storage area deep away in the memory.
I've lived with it most of my life, I liken it to carrying a heavy dull weight in your head all the time. Having children has definitely saved me from doing something "stupid", it's been a godsend really. I can definitely see it being hereditary, no doubt about that (a gift along with a sh1tty childhood). I just manage it best as possible really, I find a drink will perk you up for a night but 3 days of lows after to pay for it!. Never gone down the medication route, I work on motorcycles for a living so all my work has to be 110% considering the outcome if not. That might be half of the problem, always thinking what's the worse case scenario on every job and mitigating that as best as possible (but that is part and parcel of the job itself). I can remember being described as the "Class Clown" at school, sums it up really. Keep plowing on forward everyone, it's not nice but at the end of the day it's not your fault either.
Like yourself my childhood (more so from 10/11 years onwards) was not the best, I've gone the opposite way with no alcohol and meds, on my mother's side they were pretty much all alcoholics and on my Dad's side it was the 'nerves' as they sometimes say. I was going to most likely veer one way or the other and it was the head with me - if I had both afflictions, make no mistake, I'd be long gone.
