Phsyco Girlfriend

DAVE 2227 · Jun 11, 2004

Rather him than me.

darrynK · Jun 11, 2004

i got fed up reading after 5 minutes
i get the point- she's a pain in the arse

Dietrich · Jun 11, 2004

I read for ages, plus the whole MoS saga.

Rather him than me, however.

Tom

nuttinnew · Jun 11, 2004

She really over-reacts whenever she catches me wearing her underwear.
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nuttinnew · Jun 11, 2004

I asked you if you wanted any, I asked you - now stop eating it off my plate.
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nuttinnew · Jun 11, 2004

Immediately I returned home, I took the money from the MoS to the offices of a local charity, outside which I'd arranged a meeting with a man from whom I bought a bin liner full of crack and four prostitutes. Hurrah!
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This guy's TSC

slythe_guy · Jun 11, 2004

We had an earthquake here the other week. Surprisingly, I'm not being metaphorical. I mean we had an actual earthquake: in the geological rather than the emotional sense. It happened at about one o'clock in the morning, we were pretty close to the epicentre, and it was 4.8 on the Richter scale. Now, I'm depressingly aware that all you Californians are right now glancing up from your crystals and pausing mid-mantra to snort, '4.8? Poh. That's not an earthquake, that's just someone slamming a door.' Well, yes, I suppose it's all relative, but here in England where tectonics is less brash and showy, 4.8 is easily vulgar enough to stand out.
The important thing is that just before 1 A.M. the whole house shook. Naturally, this woke us up. Cupboards rattled and banged, furniture shivered across the floor, the bed struggled like it was possessed by the spirit of a wild animal that was trying to get out. The instant it ended, Margret's freshly woken face slid in front of me. Her voice irritated and her eyes accusatively thin, she hissed, 'Was that you?'
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classic!

Rippsy · Jun 11, 2004

slythe_guy said:

We had an earthquake here the other week. Surprisingly, I'm not being metaphorical. I mean we had an actual earthquake: in the geological rather than the emotional sense. It happened at about one o'clock in the morning, we were pretty close to the epicentre, and it was 4.8 on the Richter scale. Now, I'm depressingly aware that all you Californians are right now glancing up from your crystals and pausing mid-mantra to snort, '4.8? Poh. That's not an earthquake, that's just someone slamming a door.' Well, yes, I suppose it's all relative, but here in England where tectonics is less brash and showy, 4.8 is easily vulgar enough to stand out.
The important thing is that just before 1 A.M. the whole house shook. Naturally, this woke us up. Cupboards rattled and banged, furniture shivered across the floor, the bed struggled like it was possessed by the spirit of a wild animal that was trying to get out. The instant it ended, Margret's freshly woken face slid in front of me. Her voice irritated and her eyes accusatively thin, she hissed, 'Was that you?'
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classic!
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!

MrBen · Jun 11, 2004

Have spent the last two hours reading that- absolutely brilliant.Head aches like a bitch now though due to the nasty colour scheme!

Dubya · Jun 11, 2004

While sorting out the stuff in the boxes, these are some of the things I've discovered that Margret actually packed away at our last house and brought to our new one:

A dentist's cast of her teeth circa 1984.
Empty Pringles tubes.
Rocks (not 'special ornamental rocks', you understand, just 'rocks' from our previous garden).
Old telephone directories.
Two carrier bags full of scraps of material.
Those little sachets of salt and sugar you get with your meal on planes.
Some wooden sticks.
Last year's calendar.

And yet, were I to throw her from a train, they'd call me the criminal.
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Found this one quite amusing!

VR6T · Jun 12, 2004

God some people lead an exciting life....

Niederhfer · Jun 12, 2004

VR6T said:

God some people lead an exciting life....
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My thoughts exactly. Who the fuck has time to write pages and pages of shite like that?

Mk2GolfBoy · Jun 12, 2004

I thought this was funny lol!

"She really over-reacts whenever she catches me wearing her underwear."

Mk2_Ozz · Jun 12, 2004

Haha, that is brilliant, the guy really can write, some of his metaphors are inspired!!

Do love the small print too!!

Access to this page is granted solely on the basis of accepting the right of Mil to turn up at your house at any time and stay for as long as he likes. This agreement takes precedence over any local, national or international laws which might otherwise apply in your area of residence - and it was drawn up by Disney's lawyers, so don't embarrass yourself by trying to appeal, eh?
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