random jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes & Funnies!' started by Tristan, Oct 29, 2008.

  1. Tristan

    Tristan Paid Member Paid Member

    Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
    A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

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    Q. What's a mixed feeling?

    A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

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    Q What's the height of conceit?

    A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

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    Q. What's the definition of macho?

    A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

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    Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

    A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

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    Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

    A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

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    Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

    A. Because it's worth it!

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    Q. What is a Yankee?

    A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

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    Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

    A. They both like a tight seal.

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    Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

    A. Their balls are just for decoration.

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    Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?

    A. About three inches.

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    Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

    A. The grip.

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    Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

    A. It's not hard.

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    Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

    A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

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    Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

    A: 45 pounds.

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    Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

    A: 45 minutes.

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    Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

    A: Breasts don't have eyes.

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    Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

    A. The swallow.

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    Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

    A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
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    Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
    A .. They don't have balls to scratch!
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  2. jApAn Forum Member

    Ah, a good bunch of oldies :) Certainly made me smile.
     
  3. SixSevenTwo Forum Member

    I'm proud that these set of jokes are what I constructed, with the exact same jokes at the exact same times, using the same spaces etc, 4 months ago :) how its got around to you in the exact same format & onto this forum is totally beyond me :)

    weird!
     
  4. ktuludays

    ktuludays Forum Member

    what's the difference between a funny joke and a shiite joke?

    ask tristan ^^^^^
     
  5. StuMc

    StuMc Moderator and Regional Host - Manchester Moderator

    It`s called `e-mail`...;)
     
  6. Tristan

    Tristan Paid Member Paid Member

    I'm confused... should I be chuffed or insulted? :p
     
  7. jApAn Forum Member

    I think you'll find it's the latter. Don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger.
     
  8. ktuludays

    ktuludays Forum Member

    not a personal dig at you as you just relayed the jokes from your email but they were pretty cack
     
  9. neil kaye Forum Junkie

    Q. What's a mixed feeling?

    A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
    this one had me realy thinking,how sick this joke realy is ,i mean how the fuk would i get the surviving bits of my car back home
     
  10. AndyRhino

    AndyRhino Forum Junkie

    well i thought they were funny. so did my m2 work mates. so they cant be that bad. its just u.
     
  11. SixSevenTwo Forum Member


    I dont think he likes me :(

    I thought they were funny, hence why I put it together :p

    ah well, no pleasing some people matey [:s]
     
  12. EZ does it Forum Member

    Made me chuckle :thumbup:
     

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