Things I’ve learned, working in IT.

When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried
under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried
flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we
find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from
our video recording.

When an IT person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you
won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember
300 screen saver passwords.

When IT Support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at
once. We're just testing.

When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your
problems right out. We don't even like eating food, we exist only to serve.

Send urgent e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags
it as a rush delivery.

When we do something as a favour in our own time at our own expense, feel
free to criticise us.

That's OK, we don't expect you to lift anything or get under your desk.
Manual labour was part of our IT degree.

When the photocopier doesn't work, call Computer Support. There's
electronics in it.

When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home,call Computer Support.
We can fix your telephone line from here.

When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person's chair
with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a
puzzle.

When an IT person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in
them, argue. We love a good argument.

When an IT person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in scathing
tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That
motivates us.

When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs
frequently get sucked into black holes. When the printer still won't print
after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them
is bound to work.

Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what is
meant by "my thingy blew up".

When you call someone in to fix a problem - but don't tell them about the
other 10 problems until they physically arrive. That's OK - we can clear
our schedule for the rest of the day.

Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

When your application can't do what you want... blame us, we write all the
software that runs on your PC and can customise it on the fly. Bill Gates
lets us do this.

Remember the IT guy doesn't need to think - he has seen every problem
before.

If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog,lift
the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to
have 20 kg of computer sitting on top of them.

If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the
mail/NT/network upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a
pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

When you find an IT person on the phone, sit uninvited on the corner of
their desk and stare at them until they hang up.

Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that
computer crap." We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional
expertise referred to as crap.

When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call IT Support.
Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and
Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional
engineer with a Master's degree in nuclear physics.

When you think the network/e-mail/office application is going slow,call us
as we have a button to press that makes it go back to it's normal speed.

When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call
the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party
who doesn't know about the problem.

The instant you call us (on our mobile) - we can see what's happening on
your screen and can solve it instantaneously.

Be aware that IT people don't need to use the toilet. So you have a right
to be upset if we don't answer the phone.

When you receive a 30MB movie file, send it to everyone as a mail
attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.

When an IT person gets in the lift pushing 100,000 worth of computer
equipment on a trolley, ask in a very loud voice, "Good grief, you take the
lift to go DOWN one floor?"

And finally, always remember.... we were sitting there waiting for your
call.. The whole day!!!

 

seen it before, still funny though, even if it is a little bit too true for comfort!

 

So true! [:^(]

 

LOL - if only our IT guys were like this.....

 

like what???

 

Oh oh , I've started something now ??
What I mean is sooo understanding about not having not writing error messages down, pressing the button to make things go faster, havin a email server that recognises BIG TYPED LETTERS as an urgent email, and being sat down all day just waiting for us to ring - that's how it should be for all users when dealing with IT.

 

LOL !!
We have to be understanding as users do all that anyway!!

 

I'm in the office tomorrow, so I will test most of these out I'm sure, especially the one bout sitting on his desk till he hangs up.

 

That one is SO rude and SO annoying!

 

Oh, I spoke to our IT guys this am about the Outlook remote web client being down - they were helpfull as ever, they can fix it tonite (that'll be overtime time then)

 

most probably that is because the problem would mean shutting it down to fix, so instead of switching it off while everyone else is not having a problem (could be other stuff thats affected not just email), just to fix YOUR problem, they leave it till its quiet to fix it.

Dont assume stuff about things you dont understand, thats the whole point of that email!

oh if your IT guys get overtime they do better than me - I get feck all overtime and half of my work HAS to be done out of hours!!!

 

I feel your pain on that one....[:^(]

 

OOPS !! ( )

 

its true, some idiot is always just sitting tehre while yer on the phone
waiting for you, the stupid idiots in marketing always call you if there is a
problem with the cofee maker, dooohhhhhhh?????? photocopier and or
filing cabinets...!!!

heh

 

All true, and I hate them for it.

The eating lunch one really gets to me.


DO I LOOK LIKE I'M INTERESTED IN YOUR PROBLEM WITH YOUR OWN PERSONAL PC AT HOME WHILE I AM HAVING MY LUNCH?

 

heheh, I work for a company of offshore marine engineers, sometimes I like to get them back by asking them inane questions like "so, how DO oil rigs work exactly?" - preferably when they obviously have no time at all to answer me...

 

I fix computers for a living... that does not mean that its my entire life and I'm going to know the answer to everything you're about to ask me plus the prices of every piece of it equipment and where you can get it. Sorry but its a job to me thats it. Gripe over, nearly

A lot of them are very true... Toner/ink cartridges not a hard job to change! The sending print jobs a few hundred times... and of course not knowing your own password and getting really annoyed at me because of it! Nearly slapped a guy for that one....

 

The supervisor in our accounts department came in once, stamping her feet and
demanding immediate attention because her "PC wouldn't start up".
I managed to bite my tongue at her rudeness and went down to check it out.
Having switched on the monitor, I walked off fuming and mumbling all kinds
of foul things under my breath....

 

So true! I work as a Project Engineer but they have me working in IT for about 35-40% of my time. I think my boss is probably the worst for nea enough all of these complaints, especially the speed one!! Of course, his computer is too slow coz of the amount of work he makes it do, but then it's twice the speed of mine which does equal work and i never moan!

 

Once done a call on a friday afternoon, two/three hours drive away to... turn up the brightness on a monitor!! DOH!