Keep -'em peeled - new Golf GTI Edition 35 advert - Back to the Future stylee

The new Mk10 Golf GTI advert.............

Meet the new Golf GTI, it weighs in at a class leading 25 tonnes, this is because it has every conceivable extra you could need.

Performance engine? Pah, the new Golf comes with it's unique badly designed, overly complex, disposable engine with lorry like torque to propel the vehicle along to a city limited 20mph, and a motorway limited 50mph.

Cup holders? Pah, the new Golf comes with it's very own coffee bar with espresso and cappuccino machine.

USB music port? Pah, the new Golf comes with a full size stadium venue so you can book and listen to your favourite bands as you drive along.

Airbag and Side Impact Protection? Pah, the new Golf comes with it's very own state of the art hospital, staffed with the worlds leading consultants on hand should you kerb a wheel and get whiplash or break a nail whilst trying to park.

Sat Nav? Pah, the new Golf knows people are so stupid they could never manage to operate it, so when you put in the post code of where you want to go too, the car stays stationary but rotates the world in whatever direction it needs to till you arrive safely without being involved with other hazardous traffic.

Forgot who or what you are? Pah, the new Golf comes with an inbuilt boxing glove in the steering wheel, any sign that you are getting confused and flustered and the big glove will come out and punch 27 shades of sheit out of you till you wise up, get with the programme, and stop being a waste of socks.

 

Thread split?

 

No need, the Mk10 Golf GTI will sort out this mess by itself with it's onboard forum moderator.

 

IMO weak advert.. it's not amusing, doesn't show off the edition35.. and the brit "engineer" & "test driver" are a pair of drips.

[YOUTUBE]W_Z68cFrif4[/YOUTUBE]

^ take a big effort to beat unpimp zee auto

 

Ahh yes......but the onboard forum moderator function will be a factory option, activated by minute sensors plugged into the "user fitted optional canbus anal socket" (acronym ufo-cas), simply express disapproval by clenching your buttocks and retain that air of superiority.

 

Pfft! You say that but the coding for such a device will fail due to variations in flatulence, and then need upgraded costing the consumer lots of their cash.
As it is generally fannies that need this sort of technical help one will need to hook into "VAGinaCOM" to sort the issues.

 

i don't agree, ridden a lovely full sus and was able to hit the trail so much faster and with mroe confidence than i could on my hardtail. went riding the other week with a mate who has now gone full sus, left me for dead, whereas i would have been ahead of him had we both been on hardtails.

Got to 8v for that?

 

This thread

 

Off topic? Nah, the advert shows Back to the Future, so the new fangled Mk whatever Golf it is can go back and alter history so this thread does not deviate in the same manner.

The world is a fascinating place full of all sorts of diverse folk and all that...
If someone really wants to spend all their waking hours slaving away to earn enough dosh to buy something that depreciates so quick then carry on. It means there are far less people in my world as they have all gone to work by the time I get up. And I am inside having a drink by the time they all commute home again. It's bliss I tell thee.

 

Ahh...as you throw VAGinaCOM into the mix we have to consider if it would be possible to get the Ufo-Cas™ monitoring system to somehow interact with VAGinaCom™, this may prove to be a problem for the two following reasons :

#1: Through extensive and many years of research we have found VAGinaCOM™ still experiences a periodic downtime of 3-5 days out of every 27 days, we, as Engineers still puzzle about this phenomena to this day but despite many hours of research, often well into the night and under mental and physical duress we still, on a regular cycle experience this period of downtime when communication proves to be very difficult.

#2: From past communication experience with VAGinaCOM™ it has proven to be a costly business, as an entire unit the system is very stable on a day to day basis but with the additional factory flash upgrades - once activated that is, do need updating on a weekly basis which proves costly in the long run.

Solutions?

 

I will have a beer thank you.

True, there are indeed shortcomings with the VAGinaCOM system. I am not interested in wasting my life trying to comprehend the technical issues with the equipment. I am old skool remember.

Now the Ufo-Cas system you mention utilises driver gaseous emission to communicate? If so is it possible to improve the baud rate of the system by porting the anal passage? Maybe someone could send their ass down to JMR and he can get it on a flowbench and study the data to see improvements can be made. He could then fire up the die grinder and carry out any work needing done.

 

Therein lies the problem - it requires a suitable donor willing to endure extensive bottom end work and i don't mind admitting i lack the expertise and equipment necessary, i'm more than happy to pass this problem over to the forum gaseous experts. I will continue on a daily basis to debug VAGinaCOM™ - a lifes time work...and then some.

Dy'a think we should inform Wolfsburg Tech Dept now or wait until we get a working prototype?, for what it's worth i'd like to wait as it would be foolish to announce Ufo-Cas™ before reliability tests have been carried out - be terribly embarrassing if the donor prototype had a massive data dump in the middle of a Ufo-Cas™ : VAGinaCOM™ communication demo.

 

This is on a new level of awesomeness... Theres a video for just before this as well

 

As much as I am enjoying the diversion in this thread (and I am!), here is the next installment *(or part of I assume);

[YOUTUBE]il4twJn9jNU[/YOUTUBE]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=il4twJn9jNU&feature=relmfu