Rate the last film you watched .........2013

Same as above for Prisoners!

Went to see the new Irvine Welsh film "Filth" the other night, 2/10 for the couple of funny bits but the rest of it was terrible!

 

Rock of Ages It's been out for a while but I've only just seen it & loved it, Tom Cruise hamming it up as an Axel Rose/Steven Tyler clone was fantastic.

I will never be able to take the song I Just Can't This Feeling seriously after seeing Alec Baldwin & Russel Brand singing it to each other.

9/10 for hammy acting & amazing 80s rock music

 

Now you see me

Quite a decent crime caper with illusions that make you think. Good cast and a car chase thrown in for good measure.

8 tricks out of 10.

 

21 and over (from the writers of the Hangover). 1 poorly thought out plotlines out of 10.

I should have known when they put "from the writers of the Hangover" on the cover - it's a real mess of a film. It tries to take bits from great films like Animal House, American Pie, Weekend at Bernie's, and the Hangover but doesn't do them very well, the characters are unlikeable and forgettable - it's just not funny, or endearing, or original or 'gross out' or any thing, there's hints all the way through that there's an interesting story in the background, but they just throw it away in the end.

 

This is 40. 3 frustratingly stupid people out of 10.

Spoilers Follow:

Sort of a spin off from 'Knocked up' only it's not really a comedy, it's more of a relationship film, a Rom, wit a tiny bit of Com.

Anyway, there's this very beautiful couple, they live in a beautiful house, with 2 beautiful children and many very nice expensive things, but there are dark clouds on the horizon.

The Husband has sunk every penny they had or could borrow into a self-indulgent **** of a record company which insists on 'keeping it real' by only repping washed up old bands your Dad might remember and is bankrupting them. The Wife only discovers this when she speaks to their Bank Manager / IFA so she's furious, but doesn't tell him she knows.

On her end her Hobby / Business is also losing money at an alarming rate because one of her staff is stealing all the stock. She doesn't tell him.

The husband's business continues to fail to the point when their house will be repo'd very shortly yet still gives his Dad thousands of dollars despite promising his wife he wouldn't and has a breakdown. - nope you've guessed it, he's not mentioned it.

She falls pregnant, nope, not a dickiebird.

She shags a teenager and nearly shags a Hockey player. Not even a murmur.


This leads to lots anxiety and coupled with emerging mid-life crisis's leaves them hating each other, bankrupt and soon to be homeless

SO..... They decide to solve their problems by going to a ridiculously expensive looking resort.

10 mins before the film ends, they hate each other, they're moments from becoming homeless with 2 kids and 1 on the way, but this isn't enough of a reason to say get rid of either of their expensive new cars, his 5k carbon road bike or any of her stock - so they throw a party.

Ultimately it ends with them making up and the wife making up with her Dad, which has been a small sub-plot barely mentioned prior so smiles all round, everything's okay then. Love solves everything and you'll always be happy and never be homeless or poor in a America because you're white and good looking.

Stupid film, but actually quite watchable because:

John Lithgow is in it for 5 mins and very funny.
Albert Brooks is in it for 10 mins and nearly as funny.
Melissa McCarthy is in it for 5 mins and is very funny.
Megan Fox is in it, and wears very little, and get touched up a bit by the wife.

 

The Escape Plan

When a structural-security authority finds himself set up and incarcerated in the world's most secret and secure prison, he has to use his skills to escape with help from the inside.

The film starts off well and then just moves along at it's own pace. Explosive action? I must have been watching another film!

5 prison guards out of 10.

 

Thor: The Dark World

Good follow up to the first film - nice to see Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings (the latter who I love!) being given more to do. Loki of course gets the best lines but Idris Elba's part is nicely expanded too.
Ending leaves it open for part 3 and mid and post credits scene link in to Guardians of the Galaxy and Avengers 2

8 hammers out of 10

 

Warrior. 10 broken noses out of 10

Tom hardy and some other guy who plays his estranged brother enter a special UFC event where the winner takes 5 million dollars. Lots of fighting and an emotive storyline. One of the best film I have watched in a long time. Downloaded it over a year ago and only just got round to watching it.

 

2012: sat through the first fifteen minutes, knew it was cack but felt compelled to watch until the end just so I can comment.
A shockingly poor film that raises questions about just how hard it is to out a director on trial for war crimes. Nothing makes sense, the acting is complete backside and you end hoping that the end of the world will hurry up.
John Cusak, woody harrelson hang you head in shame.
1 indestructible ark out of 10

 

Recently I've watched After Earth and Oblivion both set on a post-apocalyptic Earth that Humans have abandoned.

After Earth 3/10

Really disappointed with this, Will Smith features heavily in the promotion for this, but he's far from the star of it - it's his real-life and on-screen Son Jaden who stars in it, and it's pretty poor - Jaden just doesn't have half of the presence of his Dad, there's no real sense of danger, it's all a bit drawn out and predictable - which is a real shame - when I read M. Night Shyamlan was involved (Sixth Sense, The Village, Signs) and he's known for tense drama with his trademark great twist in the end - but there's none of that here.

Oblivion 9/10

Really liked this, not a massive Tom Cruise fan, well not when he plays a stereotypical 'Tom Cruise' anyway, but this is really good, it's tense from the start and drips feeds the story throughout rather than laying it all out at the start, giving you just enough clues to know something it's as it appears, it's good at everything 'After Earth' is bad at.

 

Olympus has fallen 6/10

Real brain-out film - honestly the story ludicrous and riddled with plot holes, but if you just ignore them it's a good laugh. Die Hard in the Whitehouse pretty much sums it up. Gerard Butler murders an American Accent, Morgan Freeman gives the rest of the cast a master class in acting and very many faceless goons die violently.

 

The Usual Suspects - yeah, it's old. But it's still one of the finest films you will ever see regardless of whether you know the twist (Bruce Willis is dead).
Fenster is easily up there with the best characters ever commited to celluloid.
Mrs F had never properly seen it, wasn't too fussed but was utterly enthralled. She gave it 8 dead criminals set up by Pete Postlethwaite out of 10.
I gave it 10. But only to my new friend Dave.

 

Gravity

Not up to the hype but pretty good all the same

8 stressed out Sandra's out of 10