Worst joke in the world ever...............maybe ?

Please add your worst ever jokes please.
Here is a few to start off......



How do you make a cat go woof?

Cover it in petrol and throw a match

WOOF
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What's ET short for?

He's only got little legs!

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Don`t come much worse than that.
Or do they ?

 

The ET one is just so bloody daft

 

I don't know why, but I actually laughed at the ET one. Too many Stella's I think!

 

Sorry, but that cat one is a classic!

 

What do people with two left feet wear in the summer ?








Flip Flips !

 

What should you do if you're attacked by a gang of clowns?











Go for the juggler

 

What's white and falls from the sky?













The coming of the lord

 

whats brown and sticky?









A Stick!

 

Whats pink and hard?









A Pig with a flick knife!

thats all the bad jokes I can think of

 

Horse walks into a pub and the barman says, `why the long face?'


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Why should you not pick on a dwarf with no A levels?






Because it's not big and its not clever.
Edited by: DAVE 2227

 

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Doctor.

"Doctor who?"

Exactly, you just said it.

 

What do you call a man in a swimming pool who has no arms and no legs?





















Bob

 

This thread could be endless! Here's my pi$$-poor contribution.

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "is it just me or does this taste funny?"

Little girl goes into a pet shop and says "have you got a wasp?". Man replies "no we don't keep wasps". Little girl says "but there was one in your window last week!"

Polar bear goes into a bar and says
"can I have a gin and ......................tonic please"
Barman says "why the big pause?"
etc etc

I'm now losing the will to live.....

But here's a gem that always livens up a posh drinks party:

What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
The hooker can wash her crack and use it again.

Is it just me? It took me five minutes to recover when I heard that?

 

A man walks into a bar....




"Ouch!"

 

What do you do if you see a blue frog?
Stop and cheer it up.


Why does Edward Woodward have 4 d's in it?
Coz otherwise he'd be called Ewar Woorwar.

 

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

How about the most tasteless joke ever? My contribution is..

What's 12 inches long, blue and makes a woman scream all night?Cot death.








I'm a bad man.

 

whats got two legs and bleeds a lot

half a dog

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A white horse walks into a bar,
barman - "we've got a whisey named after you!"
horse - "What Geoff?"

<hr />

Whats the difference between a duck?

one of its legs is both the same.

<hr />

whats red and lies in the gutter?

a dead bus

<hr />

 

i love short jokes



man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm

'can i have 2 pints please, one for me one for the road'

 

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Cos it was dead.

Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree?

It was tied to the other one.

 

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?
A Wonkey

What do you call a 3 legged donkey with one eye?
Winkey Wonkey

What are squares scared of?
Vicious circles

What do you to a dog with no legs?
Take it for a drag