Worst joke in the world ever...............maybe ?

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

 

i love shot ones

what do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?

Ilean
--------------------------

what do you call a chav in a box?

innit
--------------------------

why did the irish man wear 2 condoms?

to be shure to be shure <--say in an irish accent

 

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other " How do you drive this thing?"

 

Q. What is the difference between a crazed pit bull and a woman with PMS?

A. Lip gloss!


Q. What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?

A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you!


Q. What do you call an intelligent, beautiful, sexy, understanding woman?

A. A rumor!


Q. What's the difference between a dog and a fox?

A. About eight beers!


Q. If your wife comes out of the kitchen and starts complaining, what does that mean?

A. Her chain is too long!


Q. How is a wife like a diploma?

A. You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you aren't really sure what they are good for.


Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?

A. None! It should be opened by the time she brings it!


Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you!


Q. Why do women have smaller feet than men?

A. It's one of those evolutionary things that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink!


Q. How do you know when a woman is about to say something really smart?

A. When she begins a sentence with, "A man once told me!"


Q. How do you fix a woman's watch?

A. You don't! There's a clock on the oven!


Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first?

A. The dog, of course! He'll shut up once you let him in!


Q. What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?

A. A woman who won't do what she's told!


Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

A. Divorced!


Q. What food has been discovered to diminish a woman's sex drive by 90%?

A. Wedding cake!


Q. Why do men die before their wives?

A. They want to!

some of these are awful


Edited by: Chris H

 

Q.What do you call a man with a spade?





A.Dug



Q.What do you call the same man with no spade?




A.Dugluss



Q.Whats the differance between a women and a battery?



A. A battery had a positive side.

Your muma jokes are good.

Your muma so ugly she scared the sh*t out of the toilet!

Your muma so ugly she got rejected for medical science!

 

whats small green and triangular


a small green triangle








What do u call a man with paper pants?


rustle

 

two blondes walk into a building









you would think one of them would notice

 

Q) when is a woman at her brainiest??






A) when she has a man plugged into her!!

Q) what's black and white and eats like a horse??




A) a zebra!!

 

pmsl

 

Two Gay Cowboys.........

........ One said, 'yup', other said, 'yep'

 

what do you call a man with a seagull on his head?



cliff



what do you call a woman with a tray of ale on her head?



beatrix



what do you call a woman with a tray of ale on her head and a snooker cue?



beatrix potter

 

Or a clever dick....
Edited by: nickvw

 

Whats got 4 legs and no ears...














Mike Tyson's dog

 

What's blue and f**ks grannies?




Hypothermia

 

What's got 99 balls an phucks old ladies?



Bingo

 

why did the chicken cross the road??

to get to the other side!!



why did the pervert cross the road??

cos his d1ck was stuck in the chicken!

 

I think we have a contender for the title.

 

two drums and a cymble fall of a cliff.....


Ba-dum tish!


___________________

A male prostitute contracted leprosy. He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off



___________________


Why is a woman like a Kentucky fried chicken meal?




By the time you've finished with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in

 

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light bulb?




2

 

10 ethiopians, 5 of them have diahrohhea....




... other 5 have spoons