Relationship - Advice Needed UPDATE 4

There is a girl in my life who I love to bits. We met in 2000 and were going out all through uni up to the end when we split. Things had got a bit stale between us and there was more bickering than anything else. Then she started hanging out with a bloke at work and suggested we seperate. She told me later that she went out on a date with him a couple of weeks after we split but decided that she only liked him as a friend after he kissed her. No matter what I was devastated when she said that we should split.

We still occasionally saw each other as friends over the course of the year, during which I made no effort to hide the fact that I wanted her back.

We both had brief flings with other people during that year which neither of us was wholly truthful about until this summer. Once during last year (feb) she texted me asking if I still loved her and asked if I wanted to try again, but she backed off up until this summer just gone, when she did decide that we would get back together. We talked and argued a lot, but decided to start dating again and see how things went.

If i'm honest it never felt the same as it did as before as she never seemed to put herself in to the relationship, then if i got pissed off with it, it was my fault and i was being "like i was before".

She moved in with me and things were ok but not great as the usual, only get to see each other when we finish work, scenario was there but it always seemed she put much more effort in to her friendships than me.

Then two weeks ago, she said that she loved me but didn't think we were compatible and moved out saying we should go back to dating again (funnily enough the same bloke from earlier has reappeared on the scene recently). She now is looking for a flat by herself, currently renting a room.

Then a week ago last saturday i sent her a text saying I missed her and i haven't heard a thing from her all week, save for one message she sent me by mistake meant for her friend.

I was psyching myself up to arrange to give her the last of her stuff back, and the diamond and sapphire ring i bought for her. Then she text me this morning saying "Hey, You ok? What you been up to?

That has to be the most meaningless text ever. I don't think she's even given the smallest of thoughts to my feelings in the situation.

Do I tell her to go jump? Is she being nasty or just confused? I used to think I knew her. Has she met someone else again?
Bloody Hell.

Thanks for reading.

[:^(]




Edited by: Chris H

 

Leading you up the garden path by the sounds of it mate, keeping her options open and confusing the f*ck out of you in the process.

Accept the fact that you're single, distance yourself from her emotionally, make yourself available to other women and concentrate on other things in your life.

 

Sad to say I agree with b'locks on this one, if you've both given it a serious try twice and things haven't changed, move onwards and upwards. Learn from it, perhaps in ten years when you're both different it might work, but as it stands it seems like your just not made for one another.

Gl m8
Cheers, Rippsy

 

Play the same game and if she dont care about
what your up to then there's no need for you to that
way you will no if she's trying to get at you! Had a bird
try the same thing but i dont play games so i walked
away from then she started phoning me and asking
to meet up and stuff but i couldnt be arsed

 

errr cheers mate..

 

its a tough one and its very easy for me to point out she is f**king with your head and u dont need that.

U've said its not the same anymore, seems you both want to wind the clocks back, but the fact you have both changed has made this impossible.

women eh!

 

Get a blow up doll, (or a sheep if yer welsh) There
just the same except they dont talk(or bleet)
Baaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaa

 

you arse

 

why the hell did that post twice?
Edited by: Chris H

 

I'll lend you my bird she'll cheer you up

 

Sorry mate, I don't think she's the one for you

I've made a go of things again before and its never the same; sadly if it didn't work the first time..

Hope you find someone who's right for you soon

 

Seems like she is just floating along in her own little world, yet managing to fuck up your head without even realising.

I would put some distance between how you feel about her and try to find other things to concentrate on, from what you have said it sounded like she didn't know what she wanted when she got back with you, but has decided she wants to move on.

Sending a txt saying "Hey, You ok? What you been up to?" is effectively the same as saying "hi i don't love you anymore but i thought i should be friendly"

I know it's probably harsh but that is from bitter experience in my life.

My advice would be to move on in your life, just be to the point in your reply, don't let her think that she still has a hold over you and be positive, walk tall and hold your head up high, you are now a single man, and things can only get better for you.

 

Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I had a similar thing happen last year, f**ked me up no end, takes a while to get over poo like that cause they tell you everything you want to hear, then when they cant be bothered, or things are getting too much and they dont know what they want they just up and leave. ( disclaimer....please note this does not apply to ALL people, just some.. disclaier ends)

its easier to put distance between people rather than deal with things head on.. out of sight out of mind...

I know this isnt much help but to be honest we can all tell you what to do, and you can listen to everyone all day but the only person who can do anything about it is you.

Think what you want and go for it. If it doesnt work chalk it up to expierence, spend 2 months sitting in a dark room and move on. Sounds harsh but....

Life is a learning curve, its just some are steeper than others!!!!

 

Yeah sounds like it's time to move on

 

where the love god funky when you need him?

time to move on by what we read [:^(]

 

Time to get over it! Harsh words but it should seem right

 

I would give you some advice but my track record with relationships is non existant pretty much Its so much easier to have casual flings and when you get bored after a week generally move on

Uni is all about fun and getting to know as many nice ladies as you go along. I've had the best three years of my life being foot loose and fancy free (No rash's or dodgy itches have appeared yet )

As my uncle says who has had more women then hot dinners, F**k em, love em and leave em, cos if you don't they'll do the same to you. But you can take his advice or think and sulk about it. No relationship is ever the same once you have split up or seperated.

My advice is its Friday, phone ur mates up go out get horrendously drunk, await the beer goggles to come on and go and find a nice large girl who will make you forget about all your worries Don't worry its in the rule book that when your on the rebound your alowd a minger

 

What do you guys think would be a good response to the message she sent me?

 

"Yeah i'm great. How about you?"


Short, concise and to the point. Will make her think she no longer has a hold on you.

Don't give in and go all soppy, otherwise she will know that you still feel for her, and she still holds a trump card.