scotland

ahaahahahahahhaha Scotland sucks

 

i like the one about celtic being the best supported team and how they'd get so much money from sky if they played in the premiership that they'd be able to buy whoever they wanted!

 

It is England vs Scotland in the qualifiers of the 2006 world cup, and the England team are so confident that they accept Beckham's request to play Scotland all on his own whilst they head down the pub, or in Owen's case, the casino.

At full time, they all head back to the stadium to find out the score, only to find Beckham sobbing in the changing rooms.

'Whats wrong?' they asked him. 'Did you lose?'

'No,' replied Beckham, 'We won 2-0.'

'Then why are you crying?' asked the team.

'I got sent off after 10 minutes!'

 

'your not singiiiiing annnnnymooooore'
Edited by: RECARDO

 

[football chant] It's all gone quite over there![football chant]

 

this is the scene from the scotish camp.

seems they have up and left after a barrage of english jokes

 

If we played in the Premiership. Why would they not come to Celtic? Cause they find Bolton or Spurs a better prospect? .


Celtic are the best supported team in Britain. In fact, we set a WORLD record for the amount of fans we took to Seville for the UEFA final, estimated between 80,000 and 100,000. Oh aye, and not one arrest, unlike your scumbag fans in Portugal.

 

WE ARE NOT 55th, we're 56th! typical englishman can't even get a simple insult right

 

Qatar.

 

In fact I think you'll find you are joint 55th with Honduras according to the Fifa website.

 

Your only one point above Bahrain and Israel.
A few more select teams above you, Venzuela, Algeria, Iraq, Serbia and Montenegro, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and lets not foget the mighty footballing nation of Mali.

 

erm, no. 27 in 73 for Sweden. Scored at 4 major Championships. Won 3rd place World Cup medal and scored in that match. 242 in 7 yrs for Celtic. Top Euro goalscorer for a British team ever.

When he retired, 150,000 Swedes signed a petition asking him to return. The Swedish prime minister wrote him a letter begging him to come back. FIFA president Sepp Blatter wrote a letter and begged him to come back. Sven Ericcson told him to come back. Don't remember a fuss like that when shearer left.

Compared to that, what has Shearer done ?

And the reason it goes quiet occasionally is cos I've got work to do. Not because I've run out of arguements.

 

Bloody hell is this still going. Ok some jokes for you all then.

Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.

Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.

Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red,
white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing
stock and crumbled in the box.

Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 Minutes
and still come second!

Q: What is common between between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal
team?
A: They are both useless in Europe!

Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence

Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman
in a Spanish nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted by
the English FA. Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer stated: "I find it
totally preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make a
successful pass to or at anyone."

Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.

Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and Jimmy
Hill.You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot Jimmy Hill - twice.

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
English football fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never
swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.
The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when
you open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything
inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans.
They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are
interchangeable."


Did you hear about the UK politician who was found dead in an English
football jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his
family from the embarrassment.


Did you hear that the UK Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps with
pictures of English football players on them. People couldn't figure out which
side to spit on.

Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to
their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

 

when shearer left owen started

thats why no one really cares.

 

And Shearer scored 28 in 57 apperances. What's your point. England have enough good strikers to replace Shearer when he retired. There has been lots of call for Shearer to return to international duty, but he has refused, saying England are good enough without him.
Edited by: Matt GTi

 

now thats funny!!!!!

 

And oh so true. I'd beat him with the gun as well afterwards to make sure!

 

tbh honest i think the snake and tiger would have already attack him

 

At last we agree on something.

Let Jimmy Hill's sacrifice be the catalyst for a united Britain!!!

 

agreed lets end on jimmy hill being a t**t.