Ask Bristolfish

BF, what do women mean when they say they want to feel special?

I do all the usual chivalrous stuff like opening and holding doors, ordering at restaurants, walking on the outside of the pavement, below her on escalators, and making breakfast but I get the idea that's not quite what they're referring to.

 

Anal, on a bed covered with rose petals.

 

You could take the classy option like TSC.
Or do what I do, just completely f**k everything up, repeatedly, until you finally admit that whatever you do, nothing will be special enough. HTH.

 

:\
Isn't that about the time they turn around and walk out?

 

Or do everything right, with the same outcome...

 

Yep...

...and yep.

 

Is Single FTW?

What with the child benefits being stopped I can see no reason for wanting kids now.
What is the point in having all those little cretins running around your house and not getting paid to put up with it.

 

+1

The McDan talks sense!

 

Not necessarily.

Somebody's got to breed the next generation of comedy inducing lift-shaft divers, surely.

 

It is very true the Darwin awards will need a certain amount of "applicants".

But if there are not enough jobs at the moment for the population. Is there any need to exacerbate the problem?

Seems a little grim and cruel to bring a little un into the world with a future career spent putting stickers on apples.

 

I came in on the first floor: stickers on bananas

 

That requires a deft touch though, so as not to bruise the banana, not all new earth dwellers may have this skill.
The future is bleak for the ham fisted, unless the need to put stickers on potatoes arises.

 

I found Sainsburys earlier flogging overpriced luxury chips for around 2! Perhaps the potato is being pushed as the new water bottle & coffee shop?

I shall get my CV updated []

 

Ahem, I'll have you know they are parboiled, then twice-fried, before your filthy mitts even touch them. Now a luxury turnip, on the other hand, requires an entirely different production method. They need dug up, then cleaned, then probably something else done to them.

 

?...

 

I never made it to advanced banana stickers [:^(]

 

Pfft. Loser