Ask Bristolfish

I'd like to ask BristolFish...

"Where is BristolFish?" []

 

/\/\ Camping I believe.

Right then, it is Monday, every time I go out to start work on the extension it starts to pour with rain. The one time it stayed dry for more than 10minutes I managed to get stung by a wasp on my hand which is now swollen and sore.

I know it is Monday, but due to the above events I would like to ask Bristolfish if this would be too early in the week to have a lager or two?

 

Getting camped up I thought we'd still got a wobbler on over the Morse code!

As Bristolfish is away, I will attempt to offer some pointers on the issues.

Firstly, the reason it is raining, is you're in Scotland. This can be remedied by moving house to England.

Secondly, wasps. One sting forces the recipient to wreak revenge on an entire wasp population until such time as boredom sets in. From experience, never. Get onto t'internet, and purchase one of these, get two AA batteries, a jar of jam, sit back with a southern shandy, and wind up karma till you're bending the needle

 

It is too wet for tennis and wasps at the moment. How do I know this? Because I just got soaked to the skin in the 50yard dash to the house to get some beer.

I tried wikipedia which suggested rubbing all kinds of vegetation and food condiments on my wasp sting and swollen hand. TBH I think wiki is missing a trick, as I can now honestly say that the best relief from the wasp sting and rain is due to me supping this nice cold beer.
And this "treatment" will only get better too, as I sit here in the caravan drying out next to the wood burning stove.
It will be 30deg before I know it and I may need another ale to keep me cool.

Where is Bristolfish?

 

I think I can speak for Bristolfish in saying that, being a responsible adult, you should update wikipedia with your findings, for the greater good of those stung by wasps, worldwide

 

NB, Bristolfish, I haven't been stung by a wasp today, but what beer would you recommend for a nice sunny evening in England?

 

Are you now saying you look like this guy? Obviously he's been stung by two wasps.

 

He is here.

Leave the wasps alone.
I had a bunch of them around me at the weekend, if you don't flap your arms around and act like a tart they leave you alone.

 

Bonsoir tout le monde. How many wasps do you think I have swatted with a newspaper this week Monsier Bristolpoisson?

 

42 mate, it's always 42.

 

Pfft. Fookin miles out man.














It was actually 43.

Have you been stalking me........................again?

 

Monsieur Danstre, midgies surely?

 

Non, I leave the midgies for the cats to chase , thus keeping them athletic and fit for their head porting duties. Unlike the obese ginger cat Bristolfish thought was mine.

 

Ah, bon! Keeps them out of the gym too!

 

For the record, i've not been stalking danster.

Or anyone else lately.

 

Why not? Something wrong with you?

 

It is just me and the dog that do the hardcore exercise. Here he is getting a towel down after a tough session in the gym.

 

Green T shirt anyone?

 

Bench pressing all those 16v cams... looks like he needs a beer!

 

Avatar anyone?